The path

Do you think you have never walked the path? That path you are ashamed to speak about, that path you were the victim at the same time the person to be blamed or that path you initiated someone into thinking it is the right path. Your home became silent with the mention of the path. We all know the path exist, sometimes we know people who have been through the path, we want to speak about it but silent seems like the best form of dialogue.

I wish all the people who went through the path had an Aunty like Morenike, that Aunt who went through the path and is unashamed to speak about it, to coach you and does not judge you when you finally misbehave, who stood by you in your lowest point and when she tells you things will get better – you believe her because she understands what it feels like to walk through the path.

I remember a young lady who was expelled in my secondary school for having sexual relations with a senior boy (he was also expelled), during interrogations she mentioned their house maid (male) that defiled her and the sexual relations continued till she joined our boarding house.  Looking back, I wish she was never expelled, I wish someone spoke with her about it, I wish her parents had noticed changes in her mood, in her closeness with the house-maid(male) I wish someone had told her she will not die if she spoke about it.. I wish I wish I wish.04

Daughter who walked this path and the character Aunty Morenike taught me we need to create an avenue for our young boys and girls who experienced the path to speak about it without being discriminated, it taught me the importance of speaking about our struggle with the right person and the dangers of not getting counselled, it taught me to quit the marriage shaming as I do not know what the unmarried people have been through and preventing them from making the big decision.

Although the path in the novel was on “rape”, the list of our paths are different and we need that one person to speak with. Personally, when I had a disturbing path, I went for counselling and I have surrounded myself with people who make it easy for me to speak about any path.

You are not alone, you can check the following pages on Instagram, if you feel you are alone:

  • Standtoendrape
  • Shewriteswoman
  • SanemindNigeria
  • Thesiweproject
  • Womenofrubies
  • Soundmindafrica

Have you been through the path? What did you do? Did you reach out to anyone? Were they helpful?

As we celebrate Women’s month, we encourage our readers to take the first step to understand and seek assistance about any disturbing path. Going for therapy doesn’t mean you are crazy or weak.

Daughters who walk this path was written by Yejide Kilanko – a Nigerian who lives in Canada.

ÀSÀKÉ-Ọ̀KÍN – Muslimah ll Supply Chain ll Occasional Blogger ll Amateur Photographer

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